Sex, God & Chaos

In this episode, we’re getting real about why so many of us fall into the "Sulk and Suck" trap—that exhausting cycle of trying to earn connection or sex, only to feel rejected all over again. Roane and Ben peel back the curtain on why "fixing your marriage" is often the wrong goal, and why real, unconditional intimacy doesn't start in the bedroom—it starts with unhitching your worth from your spouse. If you’re ready to stop the transactional cycle and actually get to know the person you’re married to, pull up a chair. We’re doing the work today. We're talking about:

• Why we get codependent on sex instead of our partners.
• How to stop taking "no" as a personal attack.
• The "Navy SEAL" approach to setting healthy boundaries.
• Why owning your own story is the only way to build a marriage that actually thrives.

In this episode, we break down Attachment Theory from a non-clinical, human perspective. We explore why humans are hardwired for connection from birth and how early experiences of emotional neglect or "disattunement" can lead us to seek comfort in destructive places—like pornography, overachievement, or substance abuse. Join Ben and Roane as they discuss:

• Why "Problematic Sexual Behavior" is a more hopeful frame than "addiction."
• The difference between "good parents" and "good at attachment."
• How to stop relying on temporary emotional surrogates and start building real, safe, and vulnerable intimacy.
• The "Big" (Well-Boundaried, Integrity-driven, Generous) approach to building a healthy community. Whether you are in the thick of betrayal trauma or simply trying to understand why you react the way you do, this conversation offers a roadmap toward healing, self-awareness, and the authentic life you were designed to live. Call to Action Are you ready to stop hiding and start healing? If this episode resonated with you, don’t navigate the path to recovery alone. Subscribe to the podcast for weekly insights on emotional health and masculinity. If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out to a safe community or counselor today. Recovery is a team sport—let’s do life together. Hashtags

Men often default to aggression and rage as a survival strategy to avoid the sting of inadequacy. Drawing from clinical psychologist Robert Augustus Masters’ work, we explore how the "shame-aggression" cycle keeps men stuck in cycles of addiction and isolation. In this episode, we discuss:

• The Shame-Aggression Link: Why "man up" culture fuels performance anxiety and hidden shame.
• The "Churchianity" Trap: How religious systems often reinforce performance-based acceptance instead of true grace.
• Core Wounds: Understanding how childhood dysfunction turns observant children into "terrible interpreters" of their own value.
• Recovery & Relationships: How shame manifests in marriage, especially during recovery from betrayal and infidelity. True freedom isn't found in "performing" for God or your spouse—it’s found in the "Ministry of Reconciliation" and finding safety in a brotherhood where you can finally be known. Resources Mentioned: To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power by Robert Augustus Masters. The concepts of Phronesis and the Beloved Son. HASHTAGS

In this powerful and honest conversation, Ben Derrick and Roane Hunter unpack the true meaning of resilience—not as a buzzword, but as a lived reality forged through pain, failure, and faith. From betrayal and trauma to false belief systems and rigid thinking, this episode challenges the victim mindset and offers a path forward rooted in truth, grace, and authentic community. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or defined by what’s been done to you, this episode is for you. You’ll learn why resilience isn’t reserved for the strong—but is something planted within all of us—and how reframing your story can lead to healing, growth, and ultimately, victory. This isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about walking through it—and coming out changed. If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs encouragement today. Don’t walk through hard seasons alone—lean into real community, do the work, and keep moving forward. Subscribe for more conversations like this, and let us know in the comments: 👉 What’s one area of your life where you’re choosing resilience over victimhood? HASHTAGS

Today, Ben Derrick joins Roane and Eva Hunter to break down the "10 Stops" of the Christian journey and explain why 90% of believers stall out before reaching deep intimacy with God. If you’ve ever felt like your faith is "a mile wide and an inch deep," this conversation is for you. We explore the critical role of personal brokenness, the "dark night of the soul," and how the very things we try to hide—like addiction and betrayal—can actually become the gateway to a profound love for God.

In this episode, Ben, Roane, and Eva discuss the critical difference between being "traumatized" by emotional distress and experiencing the real, unprocessed trauma that often sits at the core of the addiction recovery path. Ben shares his powerful "Saving Private Ryan" analogy about the necessity of getting off the beach of survival to find true healing. Eva introduces her practical "Three Circles" tool for emotional regulation and self-care, while Roane challenges the culture of "victim mode," reminding us that while we must walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we are not meant to camp there. In this episode, you’ll discover: Healing Journey Insights: Why "deep meets deep" and how to find the 2% of the community that can truly see and hold your story. Emotional Regulation: Practical tools like EMDR and self-care circles to help you stay within your "window of tolerance." Spiritual Transformation: How the valley is not just a place of pain, but the primary location for transformation and recovering the life God intended for you. Join us as we connect the dots between our backstories and our future growth, finding the "living water" that emerges only when we are willing to be truly seen. Hashtags:

In this episode of the Sex, God, and Chaos Podcast, Ben Derrick sits down with Roane and Eva Hunter to unpack a deceptively simple idea that often causes deep confusion: honesty is answering when asked, but transparency is telling the truth without being asked. Together, they explore how withholding, vagueness, emotional flooding, anger, silence, and lack of self-awareness quietly erode intimacy—and how vulnerability, awareness, and consistent action can begin to restore it. Drawing from decades of personal experience and clinical work, the conversation moves through masculinity and initiation, betrayal trauma, emotional regulation, childhood wounds, and why growth after trauma is possible—but never automatic. This episode is especially for couples who feel “stuck,” mismatched in growth, or unsure how to move forward when transparency feels risky or unfamiliar.

After reflecting on near-death experiences, friendship, and gratitude, they unpack three phases of recovery—from the disorienting early days of emotional upheaval to the deeper work of dependence, community, and spiritual transformation. Roane introduces Dallas Willard’s VIM framework (Vision, Intention, Means) to illustrate how people begin the journey toward wholeness, while Ben challenges listeners to recognize why so many get stuck in the early phase and never move forward. Together they describe what a truly healthy, integrated person looks like—someone who lives with peace, awareness, humility, and relational depth. Whether you’re facing betrayal trauma, walking through addiction recovery, or simply seeking emotional and spiritual maturity, this conversation offers clarity, hope, and a practical path toward bringing order to the chaos.

And how does real relational grace — not spiritual bypass — actually help rebuild a marriage in crisis? They explore shame, ownership, community, the order of grace, and why healing requires connection—not platitudes.

From the “performance trap” and approval addiction to the quiet war with shame, the guys explore how misplaced significance keeps us stuck—and how Christ reframes our worth completely. With stories from recovery, practical emotional tools, and a raw look at how God gives meaning to our pain, this episode is a masterclass in honest faith and healing. 🎧 Topics include: • The danger of chasing approval • How shame hijacks identity • Finding significance beyond performance • Emotional regulation and mindfulness in recovery • Why God calls you significant—no matter your past If you’ve ever felt unseen, unworthy, or stuck in performance mode, this episode is for you.

We explore how feelings of rejection, loneliness, and communication breakdowns can affect partnerships, offering insights and strategies for healing and reconnection.

Ben shares the journey from his 1997 cancer diagnosis to the long-term effects he’s facing today, including the discovery that most of his pancreas has shut down and the upcoming surgery to address it. They discuss how faith, community, and emotional awareness are shaping the way he navigates this season, and why honesty in the midst of hardship matters. It’s a candid conversation about fear, trust, control, and living with purpose when the future is uncertain.

They highlight how this practice is prevalent in faith communities and can be harmful, leading to a lack of accountability and genuine growth. Examples include phrases like "God's gonna use this" and "When God closes a door, he opens a window." They emphasize the importance of addressing trauma, emotional sobriety, and the need for empathy and real love. The conversation aims to challenge the spiritual bypass culture and promote genuine spiritual growth and transformation.

Ted highlights the significant impact of high-speed internet and smartphones on adolescent brains, leading to deeper and broader addictions. A Barna study reveals that 78% of practicing Christians aged 18-70 watch porn, with 90% of younger Christians affected. Ted emphasizes the need for discipleship and equipping rather than just recovery, using biblical principles and brain science to address the roots of addiction. They discuss the importance of emotional awareness, identity in Christ, and community support for lasting freedom.

Troy shares his journey with addiction to sex, food, and substances, and how his life transformed after meeting Jesus in prison. He emphasizes the importance of community and vulnerability in overcoming addiction, using the story of Jesus and Lazarus to illustrate how relationships can help remove "grave clothes" and achieve true freedom. Troy also discusses his work with Hope Quest, an organization that helps men and their families find freedom from addiction.

Roane shares his 35-year recovery journey, highlighting the need for awareness, connection, and gratitude. They stress the significance of seeking professional help and maintaining accountability through men's groups. The conversation underscores the necessity of mutual understanding and shared definitions of relapse to navigate the recovery process effectively.

Carl shares his journey of teaching the Song of Solomon, which led him to write a novel that integrates its themes into practical advice for marital intimacy. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the Hebrew poetry and the book's role in addressing societal issues around marriage and sexuality. The conversation highlights the need for grace, deep emotional connection, and physical intimacy in marriages, supported by a strong relationship with God.

Elizabeth recounts the emotional turmoil of learning about Joey's addiction and their subsequent recovery process. They emphasize the importance of faith, community, and open communication in their healing. Joey and Elizabeth have since founded Restoried, a nonprofit focused on helping couples and men in recovery

They emphasize the need for a deeper understanding of one's life and relationships, advocating for personal growth and intentionality. Roane shares his transformative experience with a Christian counselor and the divine calling he felt. They critique the quick-fix approaches often seen in the church and stress the importance of long-term, inward work. Ben highlights the necessity of engaging with stories of those who have successfully navigated their recovery journeys. They both agree that true purpose and contentment are found in simple, meaningful actions and relationships, such as being a faithful spouse or parent.

They explain that emotional dysregulation means not being able to manage emotions under stress, often learned from childhood experiences. Men, in particular, struggle with emotional awareness, often turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms like pornography. They highlight the need for awareness, understanding core emotions (mad, sad, glad, afraid), and developing healthy coping skills. The conversation also touches on the challenges of emotional communication in relationships, advocating for mutual curiosity and community support to navigate emotional triggers and behaviors.

The conversation explores what to do when life makes you aware of the damage, whether through personal reflection or external confrontation. Ben and Roane discuss the fork in the road that follows this painful awareness: staying stuck in destructive patterns or choosing the difficult but rewarding path of growth. They share personal insights and hard truths about the cost of ignoring these moments—financially, emotionally, and relationally. The episode also touches on the unfolding nature of awareness, how it brings clarity and truth, and why choosing growth can lead to a fuller, more honest life. This candid and transformative conversation is for those who find themselves at a crossroads, seeking guidance and hope in the face of life's hard truths.

Despite his efforts to reconcile and maintain transparency, his ex-wife accused him of infidelity and manipulation, leading to the collapse of their marriage and ministry. Tray underwent a polygraph and psychological evaluation, which cleared him of all wrongdoing. Nearly four years later, he now plans to remarry and continue his work in men's ministry, emphasizing the importance of doing personal work and maintaining integrity. In this conversation, Tray reflects on his journey of recovery, emphasizing the importance of masculine identity and community. He also addresses the broader societal issues of masculinity and femininity, advocating for equality and the importance of men finding their true identity.

Men, in particular, struggle with receiving honest feedback, often shutting down or reacting defensively. The conversation highlights the need for therapists to create a safe space where clients can be challenged without feeling threatened. They also touch on cultural norms around discomfort and death, suggesting that embracing discomfort is essential for personal growth. They stress the value of community and time in processing and integrating difficult truths.

They highlight the challenges faced by individuals and couples seeking therapy, including unrealistic expectations and the misconception that therapy can quickly resolve deep-seated issues. They emphasize the importance of consistent effort, support groups, and attunement in the therapeutic process. The conversation also touches on the role of social media in shaping perceptions and the necessity of addressing underlying emotional and attachment issues rather than just surface problems.

Roane, Eva, and Ben discuss how fear often lurks beneath shame, influencing everything from our actions to the masks we wear to gain acceptance. They share personal stories of wrestling with fear—from childhood anxieties to adulthood insecurities—revealing the powerful ways fear holds us back from being truly known. As we unpack the societal pressures to present perfection, especially in conservative environments, you'll discover how this pressure not only rewards surface-level success but also feeds feelings of unworthiness. Tune in as we explore the role of fear in our personal journeys, and learn why identifying and confronting it is key to living authentically.

They highlight the complexities of trauma and betrayal, and the importance of vulnerability, reassurance, and authentic communication in building and maintaining intimacy. They also emphasize the role of trust in relationships and the need for a surgical, effective solution to address immediate feelings of guilt and shame. By sharing their experiences, they emphasize the importance of regulating emotions and healing the brain to overcome the challenges of what they call "intimacy disorder".

They explore the role of generational and conditioned patterns, the brain's limbic system, and developmental stages in avoidance behavior. They also discuss the importance of recognizing and overcoming shame and false beliefs in personal transformation, highlighting the difficulty of this process due to the unconscious nature of these beliefs. Both emphasize the importance of authentic community and personal disclosure in counseling, as well as the need to defrost the hippocampus to process and heal from trauma.

They highlight the lack of open communication in most couples, leading to unhealthy sexual practices and emotional suppression. They also explore the seven desires of the human heart and their significance in finding true intimacy and connection. Derrick and Hunter emphasize the importance of active listening, self-awareness, and emotional expression in relationships and address the unmet desires that drive human behavior. They also discuss the psychological and emotional effects of pornography and masturbation on individuals and the importance of addressing these issues through open communication and seeking support from spouses and therapists.

They emphasize the value of constructive feedback, shared wisdom, and safe spaces for men to share their experiences without fear of judgment. By fostering these environments, men can gain insight into their thought patterns and behaviors, leading to personal growth and more authentic relationships.

Roane and Ben unpack the common pitfalls couples face when seeking solutions to issues like a sexless marriage or problematic sexual dynamics. They challenge the notion of quick fixes, urging listeners to embrace deeper exploration and communication. Join them as they highlight the power of shared learning, advocating for couples to engage in meaningful dialogue and reflection. Through this simple yet profound practice, they emphasize the potential for genuine connection and growth. Tune in to discover how a shift in perspective and a commitment to intentional dialogue can breathe new life into the relationship. Experiencing mutual sex means building intimacy beyond surface-level solutions.

From the candid conversations about the journey of growth to the beauty of embracing the process, they explore the power of introspection and self-discovery. Eva reflects on the significance of being intentional in her work, and how it has shaped her journey so far. Delving into recent insights, Eva and Ben discuss phrases that have recently become instrumental in Eva's, offering listeners a glimpse into ongoing transformation. Join us as we celebrate the continuous journey of growth, reminding ourselves that there's beauty in the process and that we're never truly done evolving. Tune in for an insightful and uplifting conversation that may just spark a newfound perspective on your own journey.

Roane and Eva share profound insights from their experience leading men's, women's, and couples' intensives, highlighting the lasting connections forged in these supportive environments. Join us as we explore the power of shared experiences and the reassurance of realizing you're not alone in your struggles. Through candid conversations and personal anecdotes, Roane and Eva uncover the commonality of human experiences and the importance of community in navigating crisis-level challenges. From overcoming feelings of isolation to embracing the healing potential of group intensives, this episode offers valuable perspectives on the effectiveness of collective support in fostering growth and resilience. Whether you're grappling with sexual brokenness or other forms of personal crisis, this episode provides valuable insights into the transformative power of group dynamics in the journey towards healing and restoration.

In this insightful discussion, Eva and Ben explore how our nervous system responds to stress and adversity, and how the window of tolerance serves as a framework for understanding our capacity to cope with life's challenges. Eva provides invaluable insights into what's behind the window of tolerance, shedding light on how trauma, stress, and past experiences shape our ability to regulate emotions and navigate difficult situations. From practical strategies for expanding our window of tolerance to the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion, this episode offers a holistic approach to fostering resilience and healing. Listen in as we uncover the keys to cultivating a wider window of tolerance, enhancing emotional resilience, and reclaiming agency over our lives. Whether you're navigating personal challenges or seeking to support others on their journey, this episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in deepening their understanding of mental health and well-being.Join us for an enlightening episode as we delve into the concept of the "Window of Tolerance" and its profound implications for emotional regulation and well-being. In this insightful discussion, we explore how our nervous system responds to stress and adversity, and how the window of tolerance serves as a framework for understanding our capacity to cope with life's challenges.

Join us as we explore the candid experiences and transformative insights of navigating the delicate balance between religious communities and authentic gatherings centered around brokenness. Roane and Ben share their reflections on the challenges they've faced and the growth they've experienced in their search for genuine connection. Roane's journey from the unfortunate limitations of religious accountability groups to the freedom of the authentic recovery communities underscores the importance of vulnerability, curiosity, and mutual support in fostering healing and growth. As they unpack the misconceptions surrounding religious communities and the pitfalls of false connection, Roane and Ben shed light on the critical elements of safe spaces and trustworthy individuals. Through this candid conversation, listeners are empowered to discern the signs of genuine community and take steps towards meaningful relationships built on empathy, authenticity, and acceptance. Tune in as we embark on a thought-provoking exploration of what it truly means to find belonging and connection in a world longing for authenticity. Discover the power of vulnerability, the beauty of shared brokenness, and the transformative potential of authentic community.

Drawing from personal experience and expertise in navigating sexual brokenness, Roane sheds light on the intricate web of emotions that often remain unspoken but deeply felt. From harboring resentment towards a partner, rooted in misconceptions and personal insecurities, to grappling with bitterness stemming from childhood traumas, each story unveils layers of unresolved emotions. Join us as we explore the ripple effects of past experiences on present-day dynamics, the subconscious projections that color our perceptions, and the profound impact of betrayal trauma on individuals' emotional landscapes. Through honest dialogue and introspection, discover the nuanced journey towards healing and reconciliation in the face of complex relational challenges. Tune in as we navigate the intricacies of resentment and bitterness, offering insights and perspectives that ilight the path towards understanding, empathy, and ultimately, forgiveness.

After hitting rock bottom, he found himself on stage at a conference, surrounded by familiar faces and engaging in discussions about weighty theological topics. Despite appearances, he was struggling internally. Grappling with the aftermath of a painful divorce, shattered relationships, and a damaged reputation, he was not in a good place. Feeling overwhelmed by guilt, shame, and a profound sense of loss, he reached a breaking point, longing for someone to offer a glimmer of hope. It was during this tumultuous time that he found solace and connection within the recovery community. Despite not having struggled with substance abuse personally, he discovered a kinship with others who were on their own paths to healing. Recognizing that everyone faces battles and burdens, he embraced a new sense of belonging and purpose. Throughout the conversation, Tullian emphasizes the importance of understanding that recovery is not limited to one type of addiction. We all grapple with hardships, insecurities, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. By acknowledging our shared humanity and embracing vulnerability, we can find strength in community and move towards a more healthy future. Join us as we explore themes of resilience, redemption, and the transformative power of community in the face of adversity. This episode offers valuable insights and encouragement for anyone navigating their own journey of awareness and healing.

The conversation explores the idea that the conditions for codependency are often set during our upbringing, with baggage packed into the metaphorical luggage of our relationships. Roane emphasize that everyone carries these hidden aspects, waiting to surface in their relationships. They delve into the role of family dynamics and the impact of childhood experiences in shaping codependent behaviors. The episode also touches on the influence of cultural and religious teachings, highlighting the challenges imposed by notions like "deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus." Listeners are invited to reflect on their own experiences and consider how the origins of codependency may be intertwined with what was modeled and taught during their formative years. Ultimately, the episode aims to shed light on the complexities of codependency, fostering understanding and self-awareness for healthier relationship dynamics.

The conversation begins with thoughts on our desires, challenging the conventional view that often associates them solely with physical needs. They suggest that beneath the surface of our perceived need for sex lies a profound longing for connection, tracing its roots back to our creation.

Tullian Tchividjian eloquently expresses how, as a Christian, he believes that the cross was the ultimate expression of God's love, where all deserved punishment was meted out. He emphasizes a crucial distinction: the challenges we face are not punitive measures from God but rather the natural consequences of our decisions. As a result, he debunks the notion that hardship equals divine condemnation, asserting that the horizontal consequences we experience don't equate to vertical condemnation from God. The episode wraps with a discussion on enduring challenging times, emphasizing the importance of recognizing that God's goal is our freedom, not our punishment. In this way, Tullian challenges the common misconception that difficulties stem from God's anger and emphasizes that God's mission is our freedom. Join us as we explore this thought-provoking conversation, offering a perspective that might reshape how you view the intersection of faith and life's challenges. Discover a God whose mission is freedom, not punishment.

Harrison Scott Key takes us on a rollercoaster ride through the intricate and often bizarre journey of trying to salvage a relationship that seemed beyond repair. But there's a twist. The book is almost structured like a true crime novel, beginning with a dead body - the author's marriage. The Harrison's wife drops a bombshell, revealing her love for a neighbor who had been a part of their lives for years. What follows is a gripping exploration of not just the demise of the marriage but also the search to unearth the culprit and determine if the relationship can be resurrected. Beyond the humor, this book is a tapestry of emotions. It delves deep into sadness and grief, not only from the author's perspective but also from his wife's. However, at its core, this story is about hope. It's about the role of community, the impact of friends and church, and the author's wrestling with his faith. It's a religious book that explores various facets of life, including marriage, God, family, and hope, making it an intricate and multifaceted journey that's sure to captivate and resonate with readers. So join us as we unpack this one-of-a-kind story that is both heart-wrenching and heartwarming, a story of love, loss, and the enduring power of hope.

The discuss the concept of the woman as a "relational warrior." The conversation begins with a discussion of the Hebrew word "Ezer," which means "warrior" and is rarely used in the Old Testament, primarily attributed to God. This leads to the idea that Eve may also embody this concept. The central theme emerges: Eve, as the "relational warrior," is designed to protect and nurture relationships. This episode delves into how she confronts threats to the relationship, emphasizing her role in maintaining the connection. Listeners are encouraged to rethink traditional gender roles and consider the value of the "relational warrior" concept in modern times.

The interviewee passionately emphasizes that understanding masculinity is foundational to the broader themes of "sex god" and "chaos." They argue that this discussion is about uncovering the fundamental truths about human nature and the original design intended for men. The discussion centers on the biblical passage from Genesis that states, "God created them male and female," with a particular focus on the Hebrew word "Zakar," which translates to "the remembering one." Roane and Ben highlight how this word carries a verb connotation related to action. They argue that masculinity can be distilled into one word: "initiate." Masculine individuals are seen as initiators, not just in the physical sense but also in relationships and emotions. Roane acknowledges the common misconception that providing materially for one's family is enough, often leading to neglect of emotional and relational aspects. Additionally, they critique the prevalence of passive men and the anger that can result in women due to these passive dynamics. This episode provides a unique perspective on masculinity, drawing from biblical origins and challenging conventional notions. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the role of initiation and active engagement in their own lives and relationships, redefining masculinity beyond traditional stereotypes.

Through their journey, they shed light on why this line of work matters to them, and why they believe it holds immense significance. Tune in as they divulge the pivotal moments and experiences that shaped their path, from the challenges and eventual triumphs that have helped define their work.

Through their journey, they shed light on why this line of work matters to them, and why they believe it holds immense significance. Tune in as they divulge the pivotal moments and experiences that shaped their path, from the challenges and eventual triumphs that have helped define their work.

Join us as we explore the societal beliefs and personal shame that often wrap around our sexuality, causing confusion and misunderstandings within relationships. We debunk the common misconception that sex equals love and uncover the true essence of our greatest need, which is love itself. Drawing from Scripture and human experiences, we reveal the importance of managing desires and the consequences of allowing them to consume us. Sexuality, being a fundamental aspect of our soul and creative design, holds a sacred place in our lives. Discover the profound impact that sexuality has on our sense of belonging, emotional well-being, and even our ability to create life. Don't miss this thought-provoking and enlightening episode that delves into the depths of our intimate selves and invites us to explore the divine connection between love and sexuality.

We all recognize the dissatisfaction in broken relationships, but oftentimes lack the tools to understand and decode the underlying issues. Fortunately, the Karpman Drama Triangle offers a powerful remedy for those stuck in relational drama. Join us as we dissect the three points on the triangle and learn how to break free from this toxic dynamic.

She highlights how the culture often equates sex with love, leading many women to give themselves away sexually in search of emotional fulfillment. The availability of contraception has further separated sex from its natural consequence of pregnancy, reinforcing the idea that sex is the way to meet emotional needs. However, these actions do not ultimately satisfy needs, but rather increase them, leading to a heartbreaking cycle of addiction and emptiness.

We emphasize the need to unpack and examine painful childhood experiences and personal baggage to gain insight into why certain patterns or choices persist in our life. There are incredible benefits to telling the truth to ourselves and to delving into the reasons behind our choices and behaviors. Acknowledging that quick fixes are often sought in our fast-paced culture, we stress the need for patience and trust in the process of personal transformation. While frustration while doing your work is common, connecting the dots and creating positive change takes time and effort. Deep-rooted false beliefs and belief systems need to be challenged and changed. It's about embracing the journey of personal growth and understanding that it is a longer and more intricate road than initially anticipated.

Lyschel Burket of Hope Redefined shares that every woman's journey is different, but when given the opportunity to step into safe community, the ability to get back to a place of safety and stabilization is much shorter. Many women who navigate this in isolation or in unhealthy communities prolong their pain. Although spouses can contribute to their partner's healing, they cannot heal them. Lyschel emphasizes the need for women to recognize that healing can come from being in a safe community and experiencing empathy from others who understand what is going on. Tune in to hear about the positive impact of community on women's healing from trauma.

Machen shares his thoughts, based on decades of experience working with couples, on how secrets can lead to distrust and harm in relationships, and how breaking the silence can be a way to heal and move forward. We also discuss the harmful effects of judgment and the importance of actively working to understand others' perspectives. Machen offers practical tips for building healthy relationships, including the importance of vulnerability and openness. Whether you are struggling in a relationship or just seeking to deepen your connections, this episode is for you. Join us as we delve into the complex world of human connection, and explore how we can overcome these three potent relationship killers.

It is shaped by a combination of biological, psychological, and cultural factors, and varies greatly from person to person. Roane and Ben explore different components of the arousal template, including fantasies, psychological arousal, and contextual factors. Additionally, they discuss ways of understanding one's own arousal template and how self-awareness can help in improving sexual experiences and communication with partners. This episode also digs into common misconceptions about sexual desire and arousal, including the idea that it is solely driven by biological factors or that everyone has the same preferences. Understanding and respecting the unique arousal template of oneself and others can lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences and relationships.

We unpack the idea that these individuals, in fact, may not have received helpful support but instead, were traumatized by it. The episode also sheds light on how certain Bible passages or myths that exist in the Church can be taken out of context and cause more harm than good. Roane and Ben call this unhelpful intervention, "helper trauma." This episode is for anyone seeking guidance, as well as those who wish to better understand the potential harm caused by helpers who may not have the necessary knowledge or training. Join us as we uncover the broader range of problems that can arise when people seek help and instead receive harm.

This episode centers on a topic that has been divisive and hurtful for a long time. What's it like when a therapist, a pastor, and two divorce attorneys sit down to talk about divorce? Tune in to this episode to find out.

Serio has written Sensitive Preaching to the Sexually Hurting to especially help pastors, church staff members, seminaries/colleges, and specialized ministry leaders to communicate much better to those who are sexually wounded or addicted. In his interview, Dr. Serio describes how to look past the habits and to the hurt.

You can learn more about Marine and her team at www.bethesdaworkshops.org.

In this episode, Debbie walks us through the steps required to not only to effectively, but also to move further into the life God desires for us.

Avila, MA, LPC, CSAT-S, CPTT, CST, ACS, NCC, is the Founder and Director of Relationship Institute the Rockies in Denver, Colorado. As a therapist and coach, he meets with men, women and couples to help them overcome trauma, connect emotionally in their relationships, and rewrite their sexual scripts. He also facilitates couple’s workshops, men’s sexual recovery groups, and online classes to help men understand sexual addiction and repair their relationships. Alex wrote the book 40 Forms of Intimacy® to give people practical ways to connect and experience greater intimacy beyond sex. His newest book, Emotional Safety: Honoring Yourself While Creating Trust and Presence to Experience Meaningful Relationships, helps us all understand when to protect ourselves and how to invite a few safe people into our inner circle.

On this episode, Troy walks through his process of moving beyond sobriety and into a life of freedom.

WIth a strong grip on her faith and clarity around who she is, Linda's ability help couples reconcile or dissolve well is a true gift. In this episode, she talks in detail about the subtle differences between acting out sexually and acting out an affair.

He's taken that story and determined to use it for the good of others who are seeking sobriety. You can learn more about Rob at www.liftedfromtherut.com.

From broken marriages to mission trips to pornography addiction, Carver's life has run the gamut. Today is stands an example of what intentional work and relational connection can accomplish.

He travels nationally and internationally working with clients who are in crisis or in need to rapid intensive intervention in cooperation with the client's therapist or interventionist. In this episode, Roane discusses with Eli the disruption caused by sexual brokenness for both the betrayed and the betrayer.

On this episode, we dig in to how sexual brokenness begins, what it looks like when it's driving, and how to defeat it to live in sobriety.

This one is going to be helpful.

In this episode, we discuss the historically complicated relationship between religion and sex.

How do we establish a healthy relationship with sex in our world today? This week, we get courageous and practical.